• A Moment of Thanks!

    I feel the need today to say “Thank You”! I realize how lucky I am to be able to be on this journey…self discovery along with world exploration is not easy and many don’t get this chance! I have been blessed with this gift.

    I realized today how much of the thanks for that gift is owed to my parents! They overcame challenges I shall never fully appreciate and they gave me this life that I have been able to build upon and mold for myself. I have seen where they come from first hand and it’s shown me how far they have grown from where they had started! Paying witness to their beginnings put in perspective so much about them that I just didn’t get…My father was a Polish farmboy that had to abandon it all and eventually managed to work his way to the USA and my mother was a simple German village girl from a large yet poor family who looked for something better in America.

    They led by the example of their actions and this has set my path; I learned to never fear the world…always be independent and go for what you want…don’t be afraid of hard work…and the importance of family!

    It may seem the last lesson was indeed lost on me, but it definitely was not! I knew I needed this trip in order to gain the perspective on my personal journey, because my journey directly relates to the journey of my parents. Growing up, I always compared my parents to others and I had a hard time grasping why they were so different. But now I more fully appreciate the difference and comprehend how incredible it was that these two people supported and allowed me to follow what to them was an unknown dream; to be a fashion designer in NYC.

    I realize I have followed in their steps of creating a life in a strange place and making it work! My lifelong wanderlust has enabled me to see so much more than they ever will…yet I hope they understand the simplest wish they had for themselves and for me is fulfilled: Happiness! I am even happier now that my trip to somewhere far away has made me appreciate them that much more!




  • Family Riches!

    Tomaszow Lubelski, Poland…a day of visiting distant relatives throughout this picturesque farming area of Poland broadened my eyes to what a large presence my family has in this region. Everyone was excited to meet my sister and I and each home greeted us with a spread of delicious yet rich Polish cooking! Of course, we had to be polite and eat each yummy meal, yet the result of eating so many extravagant meals in one day left us feeling beyond stuffed!

    It’s a world of difference between where I grew up in Chicago and this simple farmland, yet I can see common family traits, mannerisms, and features that connect us. There is a love of art and of craft that I share with several cousins. One cousin in particular hand crafts beautiful embroideries that she so proudly displayed to us!
    Her intricate designs result in lace like fabric that is stunning, yet a bit old fashioned…I mention how I could modernize it by framing it in a slick contemporary way. She was thrilled and gave me one of her pieces with the promise that I would send her a photo of what I create from it.

    Now as I reflect, I am overwhelmed by 3 whirlwind days of meeting so many people, being bombarded with a lot of complicated family ties, and trying to absorb who is who and from where. My sister and I are confusing one another as we try to compile it all into something we can remember. Scribbling charts and connecting names so we can make sense of our visit here!

    Our history is important and connecting to it has been truly special for me. I am so thankful that I finally made this trip; after years of exploring the world’s riches, I am I finally connected with my own! I will leave here feeling just a bit more complete.




  • Back to the Family Farm!

    Kolonia Rogozno, Poland…my cousin escorted us to my father’s village to meet one of the few living relatives of his generation! She still lives on the same farm down the road from where my father did almost 70 years ago. Obviously it’s not the same place my father may remember…time changes everything, but his land remains untouched, an Aunt’s land was donated to the church and is now a simple chapel, an Uncle’s plot has been sold to another family, and so on…but this last survivor we met today still lives in the same spot!

    It was like being connected back to another time…this simple woman spent her whole life here; she could still recall the 1930’s and 40’s like they were yesterday… We spent time talking about how she played with my father as a child, we tried to understand how we were cousins, and she lit up when we showed her pictures of people from Chicago that she has not seen since 1944!

    I channeled those so many vintage memories I have heard so much of and wanted to understand life on the farm first hand..I fed the pigs (I of course stepped in slop) and I walked and gave water to the cow!l

    As if that wasn’t enough, we went to the old church that my entire family once travelled miles to attend. My grandparents were wed there, my father baptized there, and my extended family spent holidays there! A stunning brown wood structure with metallic steeples and a humble yet beautiful interior!

    How fulfilling to be able to witness all this, it sheds so much light on so many things…especially whom my father is because I can for the first time see where he came from, what shaped him, and how he began his life!

    This voyage only keeps topping itself with amazing discovery after discovery!







  • The Crypt Keeper!

    Tomaszow Lubelski, Poland…today we embarked on a second day in the pursuit of putting the puzzle pieces of my ancestry together.

    A thorough cemetery tour spent most of the day and central to the quest is my grandfather’s grave. His tragic death resulted in my father’s family exile to the work camps of Germany. It was an important responsibility for my sister and I as we are the only direct descendants to visit his grave. My fathers bad memories have prevented his pilgrimage back to Poland and he has never seen the grave in person!

    We visited amazing old cemeteries dotted with many relatives dating back a hundred years and eventually we came upon my grandfathers grave. This is LEGEND in my family. This is like visiting the Metzger Holy Grail!

    Not only was this symbolic for us but a very emotional moment for my father back in Chicago. We came here as his emissary to pay respect!

    We were standing over his gray concrete grave site and it all felt surreal! I swept his grave and my sister laid a floral arrangement. We lit a candle and a lifetime of hearing stories raced through my head as we absorbed the moment in silence.

    Many people take for granted that they grew up with family albums, family cemeteries, and family memorabilia that all tell a story of their history. I have never experienced this and to stroll through a cemetery filled with my entire ancestry is truly one of a kind! It wasn’t until we drove back and reflected on the magnitude of the day that my sister had a complete breakdown and I teared up all over this blog.

    Everyone has a history and a story to tell, mine just got a bit clearer!






  • Back to my Roots!

    Krakow, Poland…today is a big day, I have arrived in Krakow! My father is from this country and I grew up with all things Polish…his entire family fled Poland during World War II and eventually settled in the USA. I spent my childhood being regaled by stories of his homeland. I have heard so much but yet I know so little of my father’s birthplace! I arrive for the first time today joined by my sister on a very special part of my trip; to connect with my heritage and put the pieces of a large puzzle together from the years of mythical storytelling.

    I feel like I am 5 years old again: excited, naive, and curious about coming to a place like this which holds the key to so much of my family history! I didn’t grow up with home movies of my grandparents, picture albums of my ancestors, or any keepsakes from the village…only stories embellished and heard over and over again at family gatherings. Poland is a pilgrimage for me, a full circle moment that I hope to have and an experience I have thought about for decades.

    It’s fitting that I arrive through a birch wood forest which is my father’s favorite tree. I get emotional upon my arrival and I am greeted by a chilly ominous sky. Krakow is my first stop on the next 12 days of Polish discovery which will take me throughout this land. I hope connecting to my past will give me a new perspective on my life and my future!